Not sure what to say

06Jan04

Well, I’m not. I definitely need to work on the blog design. it’s tired and feeling cluttery. I want something clean and simple and fresh. But I’m tired. I’m very much enjoying our time in the Brownhouse. Getting to know folks and the rhythm of the community. It is good.

We had House Church tonight. It was good. A little different than HC back in Pasadena. But both good in there own ways. Probably the biggest difference was that we were guests/new arrivals and didn’t have friendships already built with those present. That can come with time. What did strike me most though was how “churchy” it was. I don’t mean that in any negative sense at all. What I mean is….

After having spent time with my parents and my home (where I grew up) church (a traditional UMC), I have been thinking afresh about what makes church, well church. I certainly don’t want to attempt an answer now – in my present exhausted state – but for those used to “traditional” church (or even “seeker”) we did all the things that one would do “normally”. We sang, we prayed, we learned, we read scripture, we even had communion. I learned as much (or more) in the couple hours of simple/house/small church as I do at a more formal, traditional, institutional setting. Please don’t misunderstand…. I’m not defining church by those actions – just comparing two modes of churching.

I starting to feel the itch…. I’m not sure how to describe it…. It’s the I want to do something itch. Not be busy, but be involved. Purposeful – that’s what I want!!! We’re here. We’ve been transitioning for – well a long time!!! But finally we’re here. And more and more we (Sarah and I – probably Cloey too!) are thinking that this is where we’re staying. We ain’t movin’ again. Let’s find a job (for me) and house for all of us and dig in to community and ministry and just live here. Burrow down deep roots, become embedded. Anyway, all that to say that I

A) need a job!

B) want to figure out where i fit.

how do i fit at VC? Norwood? etc… I know these will be answered in time. I reckon my discipline will be waiting. I feel like I’ve done enough of that over the last year, but a bit more I suppose is called for. What does God have in store for us here? I don’t know. I need to wait. I need to slow down. I need to ride the wave – don’t force. Don’t manipulate it. Don’t manufacture it. Let it grow. Let it emerge.

I like how that sounds…. but I don’t like doing it!! Lord, have mercy.

Today’s highlights:

5:30 AM – got up and worked out with Kevin at the YMCA (a couple blocks away)

7:00 AM – morning prayers with the community – very good way to start the day.

7:15 AM – 11:15 AM – Hung out with Dwight – laundry and Anna’s Family Restaraunt

Later – Took a nap with my daughter

6:00 PM – House church with VC folk (made some job contact possibilities)

We’ll see what tomorrow holds….

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