I Find Myself


From my good friend Doc:

“I am finding that I am changing. I no longer hold as tightly to some old and deeply rooted beliefs that in recent weeks have become less significant. I find myself having found a connection to stuff from my Catholic upbringing – stuff that some of the Protestant world would say is heretical – and in that connection their is healing and reconciliation and peace. I find myself with a fresh and growing passion for chasing my Jesus and sharing him in relational ways with others. I find myself having, at the same time, a renewed appreciation for things liturgical and a renewed dislike for “playing church”. I find myself hungering for God’s Word, and for what He wants to say to me.”

First, Doc (Kevin Savage – pronounced Saw-vaw-gaw) has become a good friend since starting at CCS in August. I am honored to count him a friend and more honored that he counts me as one. He is a deeply passionate man and thorough-going apprentice to Jesus.

Second, what I find in his words is something deeply significant and profoundly different than what I think I hear in others. Here’s what I mean… yesterday I was listening to NT Wright who was talking about how Gnosticism has invaded the Church. This all too pervasive idea that being a Christian or knowing Jesus is about him helping us “find our true identity”. This is way more important than I can grasp and I am very aware that I am born into this understanding…. I am guilty of being a purveyor of a false gospel. I’m just barely beginning to understand what this might mean. Basically, that we’ve exchanged following Jesus and find our stories in the context of The (larger) Story for Jesus helping us “be all that we can be” and discover my true, unique, spiritual self that has been buried by the evil World.

What I see in Doc’s writing is markedly different… it is he finding himself drawn out of himself into a larger reality that spirals back around to give meaning and life to his own. It is him being drawn out of himself into the Larger Story of God’s Reign. It is him being re-shaped and transformed into a likeness of Another.

May it be said the same of me.


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